Sunday, September 23, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
A dear infertile friend of mine was told this by a family member who said to her, "I wish I was broken like you - then I wouldn't have to worry about my kids anymore". On her behalf, I'd like to offer my own perspective on what the word "broken" really means:
- Broken is an international system that holds children in orphanages longer than necessary for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which are politically motivated.
- Broken is a U.S. system that makes it incredibly hard to adopt domestically without miles of red tape and a court system quick to side with the functioning uterus.
- Broken is an agency who calls to see how we're doing during the wait, yet can offer not one shred of accurate information as to when we might receive a referral.
- Broken are the eyes of my fellow adoptive friends who right now are getting a whole lot of waiting they didn't bargain for and not a whole lot of baby.
- Broken are our sense of faith, our sense of time, and our trust as we try to wrap our heads around waiting at least another 2.5 years to adopt on top of the 5 years we've already spent trying to have a child.
So to that tired mom who so hurt my friend with her offhand banter, I ask you to rethink your position. Be grateful for the children you have, be gracious, and offer to lend some support rather than caustic commentary. With a little effort most things that are broken can be fixed, and right now, there's a whole lotta cracks to be mended.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I feel like I should explain my last post a bit...it's not that we're scared to move. In fact, we've lived in four states and six cities over the last 20 years, so we've done a fair bit of moving around. No, the hard part comes in when we start to think about the things we're giving up here. The friends we've met, the places we've imagined taking our daughter to, and the memories we've built here are hard to walk away from.
Neither of us consider the city where we grew up "home". Home to us is where you put down your roots on purpose. Even though we've tried our hardest not to settle too far down into this backdrop of cactus and urban sprawl, when faced with the decision to leave it seems a little bit more like "home" than either D or I had thought it would. We'll miss this place if we go.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
A Change Will Do You Good
Sorry to all who are waiting on me for responses to emails, blog work, etc. - things have been crazy here, and I imagine it will get a little crazier before too long as we work through the choices to come. Please send positive energy our direction that we make the right decision...