The Carousel

Carousel riders are presented with a decision the moment they board the ride - which fanciful mount to choose? An elephant? A unicorn? Maybe the horse with the purple ribbons woven in its tail? Sometimes, the animal you are dying to ride on gets taken by someone else a mere moment before you stake your claim to it - and as you spin around desperate to make a new perfect choice in just an instant, you find it - the ideal mount waiting for you on the other side, different than you thought you wanted, but wholly perfect, nonetheless.

Such is the case with adoption. Referrals for this month were released earlier this week. Among the hundreds of referrals for little girls were several referrals for little boys. Now, normally this is unremarkable, as boys are referred every month on a regular basis. Not many, but it is a regular occurrence. What was unusual about these particular boy referrals was that their parents had specifically asked for girls. Rooms were decorated, names were chosen, and clothes had been purchased, yet with a sudden, creaking, lurching start...the carousel ride began. And the decision begins anew - enjoy the ride, or relinquish your mount.

Are Baby Clothes Like Rabbits?

This past weekend was 'Margarita Night' at our house. Two other waiting families from our local FCC group Donna & Joe, and Nancy & Brian came over for swimming and a Mexican dinner. Nancy brought the most wonderful jalapeno dip and homemade salsa for munching on. Donna brought caramel nut brownies, and something totally against the rules.....

Donna and Nancy have been trying hard to cajole me into buying something wonderfully cute for our daughter, but so far I've been able to keep to our self-imposed buying moratorium. So, Donna bought me something wonderfully cute herself to sow the seeds of retail temptation. Behold, our daughter's first summer outfit - a tiny dress adorned with flowers and frills in shades of peach, cream and sage. Donna, it's the perfect beginning to our daughter's wardrobe!!

Shades of Coral and White

We've waited an awfully long time to buy baby stuff. Decorating a nursery and stocking the closet are some of the fun parts about waiting for a child, whether it be through birth or adoption. For the last few years, we've window shopped in countless baby stores and researched child products galore, but never had we any occasion to actually purchase something. In fact, in order not to jinx ourselves, we promised each other that we wouldn't buy so much as a teeny tiny t-shirt or even a stuffed giraffe until we knew we were well on our way to becoming parents.

Nonetheless, baby supplies have started to trickle into our household little by little. My sister-in-law gifted us with the crib my beloved nephew deemed himself too good to ever sleep in. The crisp white slats stand at attention in the garage, waiting to be assembled. My SP6 pal Sarah generously donated a stroller now outgrown to our cause. I felt somewhat like a fraud as I wheeled it away and stuffed it in my car's trunk, all the while sensing the strangest glimmer of motherhood, the promise of "someday" hanging heavily in the air.

Intellectually, I know there will come a time when I'll have to take off my comfy DINK hat and break in an itchy new one that screams "mommy". Emotionally, amidst the trials and failures and waits and doubt, I've had a hard time believing it's actually going to happen. At last, in a clutching effort to anchor myself to an end result that too often seems just out of reach, I bought something. Amazingly, it is not the paperwork we're nearing the end of, or the people that we've told our plans to, or even the act of deciding to adopt that did it. Somehow, some way, it's the act of buying that first item, of transitioning from a window shopper to a woman who most assuredly has a reason to purchase crib bedding, that has finally made me believe.

Week 13 - Whoo Hoo!!! A Job At Last!

Who'd have thought I'd be so excited to say I have to go to work?!? After waiting longer than expected (oh, how this process teaches patience) for my new job to be finalized, I finally got word today that I am now officially employed. Aside from being terrific news financially, this means I now have an employer to complete my employment verification letter! This letter was the last hurdle to completing our home study. Sing it with me now..."It's a big beautiful day...and nothing's standing in my way (la la la)".... (courtesy of one of my fave singer/songwriters - Bob Schneider).