Wednesday, July 02, 2008

OK, I'll say it. I hate pregnant people. Well, not really hate in the true sense of the word. More like an intense sort of envy that I am not proud of. And sometimes pregnancy - and envy - can interfere in otherwise perfectly healthy, happy friendships.

Case in point - I have a friend who's incredibly fertile. She's on her sixth baby, two of which have been born since we started trying to have a child. The funny thing about fertile people is that they never know how to act around folks who can't have children. I absolutely hate it when folks walk on eggshells around me just because pregnancy and my body can't find a way to get along. I don't have leprosy, I'm just infertile. News of your pregnancy won't kill me. Yes, I really am truly happy for you, even as I'm sad for me. I'll cry - just a little bit - on the day your child is born, wishing it could have been me in your place. And then I will happily celebrate your child's birth because I care about you just as much as I always have. Ah - but I'm off track - this post has taken a turn I had not intended -back to the story at hand...

My friend is cavalier about the whole pregnancy thing, which rankles me in a way I can't begin to explain. Over time, our friendship has dissolved under the weight of trust issues, distance, her lack of support of our adoption, and my envy. So, it caught me by surprise tonight when I stopped by her blog and saw that her family was weathering a tough time. After consultations with multiple doctors, her second youngest son has been given a unanimous diagnosis of autism.

Dealing with a special need on top of caring for six young children must be quite a struggle. So, tonight, I ask that you please send positive energy her direction. Hopefully now that their son has a definitive diagnosis, they can start down the road of research and treatment options. C., we pray that your little one finds the light within, again.

2 Comments:

Blogger amy said...

I will be praying and I have shared all of your feelings as well

5:15 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Sending my thoughts and prayers their way...you are indeed still a great friend to make a request like that for her.

5:59 PM  

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