The Carousel
Carousel riders are presented with a decision the moment they board the ride - which fanciful mount to choose? An elephant? A unicorn? Maybe the horse with the purple ribbons woven in its tail? Sometimes, the animal you are dying to ride on gets taken by someone else a mere moment before you stake your claim to it - and as you spin around desperate to make a new perfect choice in just an instant, you find it - the ideal mount waiting for you on the other side, different than you thought you wanted, but wholly perfect, nonetheless.
Such is the case with adoption. Referrals for this month were released earlier this week. Among the hundreds of referrals for little girls were several referrals for little boys. Now, normally this is unremarkable, as boys are referred every month on a regular basis. Not many, but it is a regular occurrence. What was unusual about these particular boy referrals was that their parents had specifically asked for girls. Rooms were decorated, names were chosen, and clothes had been purchased, yet with a sudden, creaking, lurching start...the carousel ride began. And the decision begins anew - enjoy the ride, or relinquish your mount.
Such is the case with adoption. Referrals for this month were released earlier this week. Among the hundreds of referrals for little girls were several referrals for little boys. Now, normally this is unremarkable, as boys are referred every month on a regular basis. Not many, but it is a regular occurrence. What was unusual about these particular boy referrals was that their parents had specifically asked for girls. Rooms were decorated, names were chosen, and clothes had been purchased, yet with a sudden, creaking, lurching start...the carousel ride began. And the decision begins anew - enjoy the ride, or relinquish your mount.
posted by tocspaw at 10:59 PM
5 Comments:
Do you think the ones that asked for girls and got boys will fight it or accept that they are getting a beautiful child?
I can understand that they have their preferences, but isn't it kind of like when you are expecting a child and the ultrasound is read wrong and the gender you were expecting does not come out?
I'm sorry for them, but they are so very lucky to get a child. I know a few couples who have been waiting for two or more years.
Please don't think I'm judging or anything. I would just feel so lucky to get any child at all, boy or girl.
I hope they can accept a boy...although I can imagine how tough that would be after having a little girl in your heart!
I have to be honest here... I can sort of relate! We waited and tried for several months to get pregnant and after a miscarriage we did. We are finally 21+ weeks along and thankful for each day. (Although always unsure of what tomorrow will bring.)
While I am happy just having a healthy child (and actually have a child at that) I was slighly shocked to get the US results to find out we're having a boy.
Not that I am not happy, and it's not even that I "thought" I was having a girl... but I don't know... there is just something inside me that really wanted a little girl first.
So my heart goes out to those parents who want a child so badly (like we do) and yet when their moment comes and it's not exactly what they thought, it's slightly scary for many reasons.
However in the end having a child to love, no matter what the sex, is a blessing and we're thankful for however they will come into our lives... so I wish them the same peace!
I noticed that, too, in this month's referrals. Still, odds are, most people who want girls are going to get girls from China. And I suppose you could refuse the referral. We are almost 100 percent sure we are going to put our China adoption temporarily on hold and pursue an adoption from Vietnam. We can get a referral almost immediately if we ask for a boy, and hopefully bring him home by Christmas. And he may be 6 months old or even younger.
I, too, wanted a girl first, but more importantly I want to be a parent. And we had planned on two kids: one girl, and hopefully our second a boy. Now we're just going it the opposite. To be honest, after our boy from Vietnam, if we got a boy referral from China, we would probably ask for another referral. We're only having two kids and I'm having one girl! Being able to have some choice over gender is one of the very few advantages of adoption.
But you're right: nothing is guaranteed in adoption. Actually, in life, right?
Thanks for your comments. I'm not sure how to email you either! Here's my two addresses:
heidi@heidischlumpf.com
or
schlumpfh@claretians.org.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Heidi
AKA Spiritual Knitter
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