Delusion

I don't know whether to laugh, or to sob uncontrollably. I contacted an agency to ask about possibly switching programs recently, and got this as a response:

If I understand what you said correctly, you have a LID that is over one
year old. My understanding is that it is possible that you could get a
referral the end of 2008. Since the CCAA has a rule that the newest child
must be in the home for one year before you can receive a referral, it seems
that if you processed through the XXXXX program, you would need to put
the China program on hold.

I'm furious that there are still agencies out there selling the idea of quick referrals to clients. I'm even more furious that this is an agency with its own China program, so they should know better! I know there are financial considerations involved, but please - don't delude yourself or me that somehow the 43 weeks from now until October 27, 2006 are going to be referred out before the end of 2008. That would mean that the CCAA would have to start referring full months, which seems almost beyond the realm of possibility at this point.

I wish that the CCAA and our agencies understood one simple fact - all adoptive parents are looking for is the truth. If the wait is 1 year, 3 years, or 5 years, tell us that - we'll wrap our heads around it and make the appropriate decision for each of our families. It's the limbo that's changing us, binding us, hurting us. I turned to adoption partly to get off the "maybe someday, maybe never" train of infertility treatment. Ironically, I seem to have bought another ticket.