Happy New Year

Another year gone by.....

Ah, to be closer than I feel at this very moment - how precious that would be. But, alas, as of yet there are still many footsteps to fall...

So, to those families-to-be who are still waiting tonight - in a few hours another year begins, a tangible event to mark off the calendar, a shift to things that are freshly new again - may we find the strength to wait together.

Here's wishing a happy new year to everyone!

Hope Reborn

This whole adoption thing gets me down some times. It's a lot of hurrying up to wait, of feeling like it will never happen, of continually having to renew your faith that it will even in the worst of circumstances.

Over the past five years, a near death experience, weeks and weeks of hospitalization, loss after loss, and lingering complications from infertility treatment have left me medically and emotionally....well.....fragile seems appropriate. It's only been in the last couple of years that I've found the strength to move forward with adoption with my whole heart.

But, as much as I've struggled, I know that there are women out there who've been through more than me in their quest to have children. And a few days ago, one of them told me that she's decided to adopt. And in fact, had decided some months ago, but was keeping the news to herself until she got a referral and felt confident that her adoption was really going to happen. I can totally relate to the fact that she's faced too many heartaches and setbacks to just believe blindly.

For each and every one of us facing adoption, hope starts to trickle in from the moment we first send in our applications. We fall in love with things most people can't understand - a promise of parenthood, a face in a photo, the idea of belonging - to the child, to the adoption community, to our child's culture, and we finally start to become whole again.

So, to L* today, if you are reading my blog, know that your time has finally come. You'll not forget, but you will heal. And the the hope gained through adoption will pave the way. Lastly, thank you for refilling my well of faith that you didn't know had run dry. Funny how adoption brings with it a renewable supply.

Paradox

par·a·dox (păr'ə-dŏks') n.

A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true.

It's been talked about, both openly and in frightened whispers , and camps have firmly been pitched on both sides of the fence for months. Sadly, the optimistic side has lost.

In the supposed interest of improving the fate of China's future adopted children, the CCAA has finally issued new criteria for potential parents hoping to adopt from China, effective May 2007.

I'm pissed.

Not that I think that China shouldn't have a say in who adopts it's children. I do. Or that I think that the rules are invalid or discriminatory. I don't.

No, I'm pissed that once again we have to submit to someone else's idea of what makes us worthy parents. We've undergone more than most to come this far, and have made peace with parenting choices that many won't even consider. And yet, as of May 2007, we are no longer good enough to adopt from China - unfortunately, we don't meet all of the new criteria. Any hope we may have had of adopting a sibling for our daughter from her homeland is now dashed.

At this point, all signs for our current adoption are pointing to one saving grace - dossiers logged in by May 2007 will likely not be subject to the new regulations. However, I'm concerned that our dossier probably won't have made it through the review room prior to that time. And, until it passes review, we're still standing on the battle line, waiting to get shot down. There are rumors swirling that dossiers not yet clearing the review room will go through a "soft" application of the new rules in the months leading up to May 2007. Where does this leave us? I don't know.

China is trying to do right by its children. What a crappy paradox it is.

Referrals are In

The CCAA has processed referrals through September 8, 2005. This month is especially significant because our friends Nancy and Brian received their referral for their beautiful daughter, Lily.

Stop by their blog to see a photo of their precious little girl. Congratulations, my friends - you will make wonderful parents!! We are so excited for you!