Twice the Rice

It's sobering. It's difficult to read in every way. Nonetheless, I think it should be required reading for every adoptive parent who has or is considering transracial, transcultural adoption.

http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/

Twice the Rice is written by Ji-in, a 29 year old Korean adoptee. She's sometimes a little angry, sometimes a little bitter, and at all times bluntly honest. Reading about Ji-in's experience coming to terms with her adoption reminds me that "our" adoption is not about us. Our adoption will be about our daughter. It's her story. It will always be her story, no matter how we try to make it fit the tale we would like told, or the happy ending we hope to assign it.

Whether you decide to agree or disagree with Ji-in's blatantly harsh words about adoption, it's important to note that unless you've been adopted yourself, it's virtually impossible to truly put yourself in her shoes. Dismissing her comments as sensationalist or self-indulgent diminishes the absolute value of her personal truth. A verity that Ji-in, judgments aside, solely owns.

Tonight I find myself acutely aware that perhaps an inwardly turned mirror is both the kindest and cruelest reflection of all. I have so much to learn - about adoption, myself, and soon, my daughter. Most importanly, I pray I'll learn to cradle my daughter's truth with gentle hands.